Post by ISADORA DESARE on Nov 15, 2011 16:37:00 GMT -5
| [atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, border-left: #373e46 45px solid; border-right: #515c69 4px dashed; background: #d8d8d8; padding-top: 16px; padding-right: 16px; padding-left: 16px; padding-bottom: 12px; -moz-border-radius: 10px; width: 368px;] ISADORA DESARE ----- FIGHTER, DETERMINED, CYNICAL ----- ninteen, shade, female,  lis || irina lazareanu { make yourself shine } If you could kill anybody in the world and get away with it, who would they be? |
I can’t say there’s anyone specifically, I mean, not that I can think of. I just don’t particularly like people on a whole, why the hell would I? It’s not like they’ve given me any reason to. Besides, everyone’s got to die at some point; it would just save them the waiting.
If you had the choice to save a person's life, but in return yours ends; would you do it?[/color][/b]
Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, who would do that? No, I would never give up my life for someone else. No one’s worth that kinda sacrifice. Like I said before, I don’t like people, why would I end my life for one of them?
What did you get up to last night?[/color][/b]
I don’t really see why this is important, but I spent last night doing some photography. I like to get out and use my camera, gives me something to concentrate one, something to think about. I went out to some fields, the crops are ready to be cut and the moon light’s perfect this time of year. I got back early morning; I wasn’t tired so I just stayed up to develop some of the photos. They look pretty good, if I say so myself.
Have you ever been in love? If not, do you want to be?
Love is bullshit. I’ve never believed in it.
I mean, if you think about it, it sounds vile. It’s a mix of hormones, chemicals that change your perspective on life, it messes you up in inside. It’s nothing to do with wanting to be with someone forever, it’s out of your control, its just chemistry trying to fuck up your life, brainwashing you. It makes you live for something that doesn’t even exist.
I hear you have quite a history. Care to share?
Ok, so I’m an only child and I’ve pretty much always had to look after myself. My mum never really liked my father; they weren’t exactly a good match. She was meeting up with this other guy for a couple of months, my father found out, he got totally mad and that was it, he left us. Unfortunately, I was still expected to see him, so I’d go round his house every few months. I was young, around 4-5 when I started going, I don’t remember it much, but I know it was ok at first. Then he started to drink. At first, it was just a beer at night but gradually that changed. Soon, he was drinking from the moment he woke up, passing out on the floor every night. I remember being there one time, I must have been about 9 and I was so terrified, he was shouting at me, blaming me for my mum’s mistakes. That was the first time he hit me. Looking back, I should have retaliated, shouted back. I hate that I was so weak, I don’t care how young I was, I should have done something.
We didn’t have much money so my mum was always at work, which meant I was home alone a lot. I was making myself meals by the time I was 8, I don’t even remember seeing my mum around the house. I didn’t care, I liked to be alone, it meant I didn’t have to communicate with the outside world, just me and my thoughts.
There were other advantages to being home alone too. I could have people round whenever I wanted. I lost my virginity when I was 12 to some kid, I can’t even remember his name. No, it wasn’t special. No, I don’t regret it. I’ve slept with more guys than I can count and I’ve never been in a relationship. I guess you could say I take after my mother on that account.
I moved out when I was 16 and I’ve lived in this apartment, on my own, ever since. I see my mum occasionally but she’s got some new man now, we’ve never had that close ‘mother daughter relationship’ and I wouldn’t want to start that now. I stopped seeing my father as soon as I realised that other kid’s weren’t being treated like I was, I couldn’t see other kids cowering from their dad’s touch, or pulling their sleeves down over their bruises. It’s been about 10 years since I last saw him, he could be dead for all I know. I fucking hope he is.
Geez, i hear the Council are being bitches these days. Your view on them?[/color][/b]
I don’t know, I don’t really care. I pay little attention to the Council; as long as they stay out of my life and don’t start fucking me around it’s fine.
Idea of a perfect date?
Well for a start, there’s no such thing as perfect. Also, as previously stated, I don’t believe in love, I don’t see the point in dating because it’s not like it’s ever gonna lead to anything.
It’s simple really, I don’t do romance or intimacy or any of that crap.
Ideally, he’d be taller than me, dark hair, dark eyes. He wouldn’t make conversation just for the hell of it; we’d both know why we’re there. The date would be short; we’d go back to mine, to my bed more specifically. After we’d fucked, he’d make me coffee and bring it to me in bed, then he’d leave.
If your life had a slogan, what would it be?
Life’s an impossible battle. You can’t win but you can die trying.
Your favorite meal?
I don’t really eat a lot; I’ve always had a small frame and an equally small appetite. I also don’t like to cook. I’m a vegan, I think eating animals is revolting and to be honest, their produce is worse.
I guess my favourite meal would be black coffee with cereal, without milk, obviously.
So times are hard, aren't they? What can you do to protect yourself?[/color][/b]
I guess they are, but like I said, life’s a battle. I’m pretty good at hurting other people; I love the rush when you know you’re the more powerful opponent. I know how to cause pain without getting my hands dirty, as in, I just do it mentally. It really isn’t that hard but people don’t exactly see it coming. Oh, and if it does come to it, which it never will, I’m pretty damn good at hiding.
Trust me; you don’t want to get on the wrong side of me.
Wow, you have quite a reputation around here. How'd you get it?[/color][/b]
I don’t know, I’d say I keep myself to myself but it some bitches’ think they can mess with me they have another thing coming. I’d say that’s fair enough though, wouldn’t you? So yeah, I’ve had a few fights, but I just don’t let other people push me around.
Do you like your family?
Family doesn’t mean much to me, ok, we have the same genes or whatever; it doesn’t make them special or any different from anyone else. I’m an only child and I like it that way, it means I don’t have that responsibility, people are expected to look after their siblings, I just look after myself.
I told you what my father did to me; of course I don’t like him. I fucking hate the man. My mum’s never exactly been there for me, she’s not the traditional kinda mother, but I wouldn’t want her to be. Like I said, I look after myself.
Good or evil? Which do you choose?[/color][/b]
Evil. No question about it. What’s the point in being good? You’re not gonna gain anything, you’ll never get anywhere. Yeah, you could hope that people will treat you the same, but at the end of the day, people fuck you over, that’s just how it is. Besides, there’s no fun in being nice, is there?
So are your sheets being tousled or what?[/color][/b]
Ok, so this totally isn’t relevant to anything and there is no way I’m getting into details here, but yes, yes they are. Like I said, I lost my virginity when I was young and don’t regret it. I know what men want and what the hell’s the point in going out if you’re not gonna come home with someone that night?
If you had to chose, what is your least favourite thing about yourself?[/font][/color]
I don’t know, sometimes I wish I was more intelligent. I didn’t really get a proper education and it’d be nice to be able to outwit someone rather than just hurting them. Although I’d probably always end up hurting them too… I’m just saying, it’d be nice to have some hobbies other than meeting up with guys and taking photos.
Oh, and like mentioned before, I hate how weak I was as a child, I hate that I’ve let my father get away with what he did to me. No one will ever hurt me like that again, I swear.[/blockquote]
{ introduce yourself }
holy shit, Lis is that you? we haven't talked for that long! that is just ridiculous.
we should meet up sometime; pm ok?
sorry for the delay! ♥
{ show off those skills, baby }
Isadora kicked at the ground; dust flew up, surrounding her feet like a cloud. Her camera hung loosely around her neck, swinging slightly as she breathed in the cold winter air. Tonight had been a disappointment to say the least. She had planned to come out to the park to take some photos as the morning sun rose, but she had woken late and clouds had already covered the sky, stealing it’s warm glow, covering Pandora in a grey blanket.
A rustling of leaves interrupted the cold silence of the morning and Isadora looked up. A man, probably around 30 years old, was walking across the park with his daughter. The young girl skipped ahead, calling back to her father who was laughing along with her. They were so happy, so care free… Isadora scowled and looked back at the ground. She shuddered as they came past, running into the distance, still laughing.
Isadora knew what came next. The tug on her heart, the feeling of regret and hatred, the rush of cold blood. She closed her eyes and braced herself as it all came flooding back, distant memories of her father, memories of smashed bottles, violent threats and rough hands that showed no mercy. She traced her fingers down her arm; where the cuts and bruises once covered her flesh, now were scars, slightly raised skin that was barely visible, but felt like a battlefield to Isadora. She gritted her teeth and leant her head back, staring into the pale, never-ending sky. These memories seemed like another lifetime, another girl she had never met, but Isadora knew the reality of these nightmares, and it was something she could never forget. She stood up, heading down the dark alley that led to her home. No one would ever make her feel so weak, no one would ever hurt again, she’d make sure of that.
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